Florida Man March 31st – Florida Mans Non-Binary Baby
Florida man March 31st 2015 – Florida man gives birth to the world’s first non binary baby
On March 31st, a Florida man gave birth to the world’s first non binary baby. The Florida man March 31st had completed their gender reassignment surgery prior to the birth, and had decided that their baby would never be labeled a gender until it was old enough to make an informed decision.
The baby, born ‘Jordan James’, is the world’s first baby to be born non binary, in a shift that could change the face of the planet for the better, or for the worse in the future. Initial reports say that the birth has received a large backlash from the American general community, with several active members of the gun lobby threatening the Florida man and his new family.
Speaking to one of the family members, they told us “it’s just mental, you can be born with a pole or a hole, but can identify as a carrot, there needs to be boundaries to this gender thing”. Other family members were heard saying “this isn’t right, you can’t just decide things like this for a baby who can’t make it’s own informed decision yet”.
Reports in 2022 say that the non binary baby, now aged 7, has chosen to lead it’s life as a boy after being given the option at aged 6 to choose which gender they wanted to be.
Florida man March 31st 2017 – Florida man punches ape at zoo
On March 31st, a Florida man entered an ape’s pen during feeding time and punched the ape, attempting to take the ape’s meal away from it for entertainment. The Florida man took the ape’s meal away, and attempted to run away with it, laughing and squealing from excitement.
Shortly after the incident, and after a short chase, the Florida man March 31st was pummeled to death by the ape & its consorts, before they were tranquilized and the man’s body was removed.
The Florida man March 31st was found to have several different substances in his system, which is likely what led to his terrible decisions that day.
Florida man March 31st 2019 – Florida man arrested for stealing park basketball nets
On March 31st, a Florida man was arrested for stealing basketball nets from a local park and installing them on the roof of his house. The Florida man March 31st had decided, after a few drinks, that basketball on his roof would be a once in a lifetime experience, and proceeded to steal the local basketball nets to give it a go.
During the roof basketball game, the police turned up and when attempting to flee, the Florida man slipped off the roof and broke both of his legs. When being escorted away in the ambulance to be repaired before his trial, the Florida man said “this was well worth it for a jail sentence, I scored a 3 pointer on my roof, you guys don’t know what living is”.
Florida man March 31st thoughts
A non binary baby, a man punching an ape and a man who stole basketball nets, Florida man March 31st is definitely a special date for the Florida man! There aren’t many dates in history where you can say you shot a 3 pointer from your own roof, but props to the Florida man for that one, he is a living legend.
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