Florida Man March 25th – The 54 Stone Florida Man

Florida man March 25th 2016 – The 54 stone Florida man and his life story

On March 25th, a Florida man who had weighed in at an astonishing 44 stone decided to share his life story with us. 

The Florida man March 25th had been through a life of pain and abuse from a young age, and due to beatings that he took when he was under 5 years of age, his hormone levels were totally misbalanced and unfortunately his metabolic rate was cut down by 9/10. 

When the Florida man was tested at age 7, it was shown that his irregular metabolic rate only burned 200 calories per day, instead of the national average of 3500 at that point in time. This led the Florida man to gain substantial weight, and meant that he could not ever compete in sports like he dreamt of. 

Reports in 2022 say the Florida man has brought his weight down to 29 stone, after a large series of medications brought his metabolism up to speed and he began a weight loss regime of 3 short walks per day. 

Florida man March 25th 2019 – Florida man infiltrates area 51

On March 25th, a Florida man infiltrated area 51 before being shot, tasered and arrested on site. The Florida man March 25th had been camping out underneath the sand for weeks, waiting for an opportunity when security changed over to be able to sneak into the area.

Shortly after entering the building, the Florida man March 25th was caught as he did not have an ID tag on, which all staff are required to carry on them. The Florida man was quickly apprehended and arrested, and put on trial for attempting to share national secrets with the world. 

After a short trial, the Florida man March 25th was freed, with all evidence of what he saw destroyed and non-disclosure agreements signed from both parties, the government were happy. Reports say that in 2022, the Florida man attempted to re-gain entrance to area 51, and was offered a job as head of security, as he managed to break the security guards patterns once again.

Florida man March 25th 2021 – Florida man steals pirate ship

On March 25th, a Florida man stole a pirate ship from Coos bay, Oregon whilst he was on holiday before he attempted to sail it to sea and fulfil his childhood dreams. The Florida man in question had been drinking on the very ship for 12 hours, before the bar onboard closed.

The Florida man managed to stay behind and eventually managed to commandeer the ship, before it was flushed towards jarred rocks and the ship was unfortunately sunk, along with the fully working bar/restaurant inside it. 

The Florida man, who had forgotten that it takes a minimum of 4 crew members to safely depart from a dock, was sentenced to 27 years in state prison and ordered to pay $7,500, the total excess required for the insurance company to pay for the recovery and repairs.

Our thoughts

Wow, a 54 stone man still going strong, we have to say it doesn’t sound like the healthiest man on the planet, but surely all of the exercise he is doing is going to bring something to fruition at some point.

The area 51 and pirate ship infiltrators, well that is just one typical set of Florida men, smart, cunning, but in the end never thought about how to get past the first hurdle. We really feel for the man who finally captained a ship for the first time, but ultimately fate told us it wasn’t meant to be.

If you want to see other awesome Florida man content, check it out here.