Florida Man March 13th – Florida Man Jumps From Plane
Florida man March 13th 2013 – Florida man jumps from passenger aircraft and survives
On March 13th, a Florida man jumped from a live passenger aircraft when a mixture of substances were poured in his drink and he began a psychotic episode.
The Florida man was seen scratching at his window and forcing himself to vomit, before standing up, rushing to the back of the plane and opening a large emergency doorway. The Florida man March 13th then jumped out of the plane at an altitude of 31,000 ft and plummeted towards the ground.
Around 19 minutes after the incident, and after many distress calls, the Florida man was spotted walking away from a local barn with a small horse under his arm. When footage was found of the incident, the Florida man March 13th was seen falling through the roof of the barn, and straight into a 4 storey pile of hay, which saved the man’s life.
After the incident, the authorities caught up with the Florida man and arrested him for putting the lives of all of the passengers in danger, but he was released and tagged as there were no injuries to anyone else around him. The small horse was never seen again.
Florida man March 13th 2016 – Jesus heals Florida man’s broken legs
On March 13th, a Florida man was miraculously healed by a man named Jesus Giminez when he fell and broke his legs. The Florida man March 13th recalled the story to police and told them that he had fallen from the roof of his house, and from inside one of the walls a man appeared.
When recounting the tale, the Florida man March 13th was in tears, and could be seen praying in between sentences. He told us “my legs were in pieces, and he appeared out of nowhere. He touched my legs, grabbed my buttock and the power ran through me like the sun”.
When recounting the tale, the Florida man said that he stood up shortly after, and the man stepped back into the walls and was never seen again.
When we caught up with police, they told us “the man does it all the time, he injects himself and then has these psychedelic experiences, then pretends god is the one who came to his rescue, the guys a nutter”.
Reports say the Florida man’s story gained a lot of traction, before people realized that it was all made up.
Florida man March 13th 2020 – Florida man gets 24 speeding tickets in one day
On March 13th, a Florida man received 24 speeding tickets in one single day when he bought his first sports car. The Florida man March 13th was seen speeding down Broadway, Miami, Florida, over and over again through the same traffic cameras.
When we caught up with the Florida man, he told us “I just needed a new profile pic, no one can get a clearer shot at 200mph than a traffic camera, I looked fab”.
Police say the Florida man is set to serve time for his crime, although the mayor has intervened due to the nature of the crime and the innocence of the idea behind the speeding. Reports say that the trial will be in May 2021.
Wow, that is one VERY lucky Florida man, jumping from a plane above the ocean and somehow traveling far enough to land in a farmhouse. The delusional man and the speeding man, well that’s just typical of Florida isn’t it.
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