Florida Man April 27th – Florida Man Tries to Tear Up Writ of Habeas

Florida man April 27th 2011 – Florida man tries to destroy document signed by President Lincoln to allow slavery again

On April 27th, a Florida man attempted to abolish the act that ended slavery and attempted to tear up the Writ of Habeas, in hopes that he would be able to enslave his neighbours to tend to his crops. 

The Florida man April 27th, was seen entering the building with his family, shortly before slipping into the back and attempting to destroy the document. When he was caught, he shouted “my grandaddy treated all them slaves with respect, I’d do the same”. 

The officers on the scene who arrested the man spoke of the disgusting comments that the man was making, and that it sounded like he was living in the 1700’s in a darker time. 

When we caught up with the Florida man before his trial, he told us “it’s just genetics, we’re meant to rule over them and they know it, that’s why they hates us so much”. 

The Florida man was sentenced to 11 years in county jail, with bail set at $150,000. Reports say the bail was posted, and that the Florida man April 27th is set to wear a tag for the next 24 months to ensure he does not attempt the same again. 

At the end of the trial, the judge was heard telling the Florida man “even if you destroyed the document, the laws have been re-written 100 times since then, it would have done nothing”. 

Florida man April 27th 2019 – Florida man woke group of vampires in Pennsylvania

On April 27th, a Florida man woke up a group of vampires who were slumbering in Pennsylvania. The vampires, who were actually just teenagers who were part of a cult, proceeded to attack the Florida man and hang him upside down, and began attempting to drain and drink his blood.

Luckily for the Florida man April 27th, he was live streaming the occurrence to his fans on Facebook live, and he was quickly saved from the cult group, before being sent to hospital to have his injuries checked over. 

When we caught up with hospital staff members, they told us “they used some recycled needles on him that they were taking blood from others with, the man has unfortunately contracted AIDS from the contact with the dirty needle”. 

Reports say the Florida man is currently undergoing treatment to save his life, and is planning to sue the cult for the now permanent disability that he has. 

Florida man April 27th 2021 – Florida man rescues drunk swimmer from shark

On April 27th, a Florida man rescued a drunk swimmer from a sharks mouth after falling off a pier and intercepting the shark attack. 

Reports say that the Florida man April 27th had been drinking all day, and it was sheer dumb luck that he fell off the pier and saved the other man’s life as he was completely oblivious as to what was really going on. 

When we caught up with the Florida man, he told us “yeah dude that was such a ride, I blinked and just felt this thud and I didn’t realize I knocked a shark out”. When we caught up with a local officer, he told us “the man is now immortal, Miami beach will forever know Ted Barry’s name, the man who knocked a shark out cold. 

Our thoughts

Wow, we never thought any Florida man April 27th would be dumb enough to think that you could bring slavery back just by ripping up an old document, it really shows how bad the education can be out there. 

If you want to read some other awesome Florida man stories, check them out here.